She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
we made out on top of his cat.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
