I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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