She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Randomize
