my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
