Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
