You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
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