This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
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