i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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