I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
