What a fucking waste of an outfit
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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