I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
