I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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