God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
