Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
