I murdered the dance floor call the cops
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm passing your future prison.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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