Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
