It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Randomize
