How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
