I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
