i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
