I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
