that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
pray to the hookup gods
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
