nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
