Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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