hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize