sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
