I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I have already put on my inside pants.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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