Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize