This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
