There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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