chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
pray to the hookup gods
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
