Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
