Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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