She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
