Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
