Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
