I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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