can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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