Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
