Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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