i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
