When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
