Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
