I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
