it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
