i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Sorry about my life...
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
