I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
