I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
