I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Randomize
