i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
