do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
