id be glad to
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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