i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
