A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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