Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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