You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
