Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
