Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
