I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
