i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I think i got beer on your cat.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
