And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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