I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
